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Published: August 29, 2020

My Advice To ME To Give Myself Permission To Dream Big…

Reading Time: 8 minutes

I have a dream…. was a famous speech by Doctor Martin Luther King. In it he outlines his vision in fine detail of what he saw the world could look like in a more peaceful accepting time.
His dream was BIG….

His dream was audacious to say the least. But it left a massive impression for generations to come after him.

Many of us had dreams when we were younger, and if you have children you will see their vivid imaginations at work. I can’t quite remember what it was I was dreaming as a little girl, but I know it had something to do with a big home, lovely Prince and having lots of adventures to see the world. For most children they dream of being Super Heroes, and Princesses, Firemen, and Mermaids… Nothing stops their imaginations of what they can become, until they become older, probably teenagers, and then the reality of getting good grades, getting a well paid job, kicks in and is enforced by school and parents.


As women in their early twenties or before in some cases, we dream of the perfect partner, love marriage and kids. For those of us who find our partner in life, we talk, and plan and dream together of what this future life will be like. We make plans together, many are kept in our heads. But albeit, we try to work towards those end goals as a couple.
However as we journey through life, those dreams, goals seem to drift. Not because we have forgotten our dreams, but more about losing focus and letting life and other things get in the way.
Dreams and goals work if you work towards them together. Daily actions, or steps you take should always bear this long term goal in mind.

I was recently going through a morning devotion and this lesson popped up. It really resonated with me and I felt compelled to get some of the sentiments down in my blog post.

Shame and pride has one goal and one goal alone: to keep you cemented in a dark past while it hides a beautiful future from you.  You have to let go of what is blocking you or stopping you from succeeding or pushing your way towards your dream.

Ask yourself the following questions, where are you? What is your current state of being? Every single person is somewhere. I know that seems like an obvious statement, and it is in one respect. But how many people really know where they are in their lives?

Figuring it out is where it gets real. The ironic thing is that most of us already know the deeper answer, but we’re afraid to say it out loud. “I’m in my addiction. I’m coasting in my marriage. I’m selling myself short and taking the easy route. I’m afraid I’ll be discovered. I don’t have the confidence to start this?”

So, here’s your moment.

Where are you?

Be courageous.

Figure it out, own it, then write it down or say it out loud.


We need to tell people where we really are in our life so they can meet us there. Let yourself be accountable, tell your God, Universe or who you worship too, and be honest to yourself. Don’t ‘touch up‘ your life or airbrush your circumstances to make them look different than what’s really happening. God already sees and knows—He’s been waiting To hear from you and wants you to get honest enough with yourself and with Him to just say it.

Let’s say one of your dreams or ambitions is to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Most people would say the same, including me. But if you want to set yourself up to make some headway toward this beautiful ambition, you’ll need to get more specific. Ask yourself what would make you feel happy and fulfilled. WOuld having a loving partner do the trick? What would some of their qualities be? Do you want to have a baby? how about 2 or more?, Do you want a beautiful home? If so where? How Many Rooms? How would it be decorated? Do you want to be rich and famous? If so, how? Who would be your audience? How rich do you want to be? 1 million, 10 million? If your dream is to be financiallly free, what would that look like to you? Is that being financially well off in your bank account or your retirement account? Would you love a car of your dreams? What colour? What accessories does it have? How would it feel to own this? Where would you park it overnight? Figure out your metrics, your measurements of success.

When you are done, when you look at your list and reflect on it, you should get goose bumps and butterflies in your stomach. That’s the point! When you start to acknowledge and name the ambitions that are rumbling around inside you, they open up a new vista of what life was meant to be—full of passion and purpose. 

When it comes to your dreams and ambitions, I’m giving you permission to be incredibly fussy about which work you take on. You are not a kid anymore; you can do something about this, you have the ability to find something different if what’s in front of you isn’t something you like. Have the courage to walk away and start over. Do you take a calculated risk? If you have others like a family involved, then you need to consider them in your plans, you need to liaise and talk to them, let the know of the changes coming and what it will mean to them

Assess the opportunity when it arises, do your due diligence. Follow your passion.

Just because it’s an opportunity doesn’t mean it’s the right one. Always listen to your inner being. If you feel something is not right, then it probably isn’t right for you.

Just because it’s a job you’ve had in the past doesn’t mean it’s the job for your future. Thing about it, is it really where you want to be in life?

I’m not advocating for a life of indecisiveness. Quite the opposite. I want you to be so clear about what you want to see in your life that you won’t confuse your important commitments for the unimportant ones. Commitments will cost you time, and you can’t create more of that. People chasing their ambitions get really good at saying no in just the right way.

When you being to work toward your goals, dreams or ambitions, you’re going to feel more excitement and possibility swelling up around you. However, there maybe times when you feel overwhelmed, whether this is the right path or not, whether you can actively do the task at hand or not. Don’t worry it is normal, it is your ‘brain’ keeping you safe from risk. But, push through this feeling. Keep on task. Tune into your life as if you’re following an invisible path toward your dreams and goals. Make sure itf eels right with what you believe, and then throw everything you have at it.

You will alway get barriers or feel resistance when you are on the right track, to get through those barriers, it might take a hard conversation. It might take a stick of dynamite. It’s up to you to decide. The only choice you should take off the table is turning around and walking away. Never ever quit!
Saying yes when you want to say no can become a really harmful habit. And bad habits that deplete you can keep you from your ambitions.  You need to know and respect your capacity to carry out the work, and if it is not in line with your purpose this is just taking you away from it. Learn to say NO, and say it in a diplomatic way, people will begin to respect the fact that you are turning down tasks that you know will not get done, or is not in your interests right now, rather than you saying yes, and not completing the task on time.

If you are serious about change, then look at your current routine? Ask yourself if your routine is a good one. Is it worth repeating? Does it have too strong a grip on your life, and is it keeping you from advancing on to your newer, more beautiful ambitions?

If you want to switch up your life, you will need to have that awkward conversation with a partner and help them to see what you are trying to achieve. It works better when you have support, than resistance to what it is you are trying to achieve. You’ll definitely need to say no to a couple of things you’ve been saying yes to—even good things. You’ll also need to disappoint a couple of people who have come to expect a yes from you. But, sometimes you need to say no, as better things are coming ahead.

If you’ve had ambitions for years and you haven’t rolled them out into the world, it would be worth asking yourself why. 
You were born to be brave. Act like it. Don’t let life be an excuse to not go for your dreams, it should be the exact opposite. Life as we know is way to short. So why waste it procrastinating? Let me share with you my story and what has driven me since….

Some years back, my Grandmother passed away, and I had to take my fathers ashes overseas to Jamaica land of his birth, as his last wish was to have his ashes scattered on his mothers tomb. But as my Grandmother was still alive, we had to keep his ashes here in the UK for 6 further years after his passing, as she had outlived him. On carrying out his request, my best friend, sister and I were robbed by knife point at the gates of the house we were to stay in by robbers. When I was faced with the reality of death, it was a headspinning moment where I saw literally my life flash through my eyes, and all I could think of was, I am not ready, my children still need me, I still have things to do, and then with that I prayed and found strength and courage to literally fight back with what was happening to us in the car. The thiefs got away with some of our holiday luggage, one of which held my fathers ashes. When I realised they had his ashes, the fear had left me and I lept out of the car to chase them to get my luggage back, but they had a car. I was never able to carry out my fathers wishes. So this episode in my life, led me to make changes, I was grateful that no one in that car was harmed, not even a scratch, and we have all lived to tell that horrifying tale. But it did not define me, or my dreams, in fact it added a new ambition to my list, to start a foundation in my Fathers Name, to help young teenagers get scholarship funding through to university, as my father was always telling us to ‘go study your books’ and he valued education as he left school at 13 with none. I promised I would do this to remember him on this earth.

You see, I realised I had become comfortable in my life. I had dreams and ambitions, but never really believed in myself to be able to carry them out. What I’ve discovered is that comfortable people don’t feel they need Jesus and don’t chase their ambitions—desperate people do. If we’re going to get after our ambitions, God doesn’t want us living right in the middle of comfortable anymore. He wants us living on the edge.

Living on the edge can be scary and hard, and it’s sometimes even painful. That’s okay. Keep breathing. Stay after it. God’s not leading us to the safest path forward, but to the one where we’ll grow the most.

When you fail epically, you’re not alone. 

He shows us, over and over again, that our failures don’t disqualify us; they prepare us.

Don’t be concerned about others seeing you fail. Before I was one of those people who was most concerned about others seeing me fail than about actually failing. So we all, to some degree, try to act like we’re not failing at all—ever. Learn to be humble, admit failure and learn from it, it can really help you move forward. No one is perfect.

Start dreaming today, start going for your dreams, be brave, be confident and as long as you feel you are on the right path the right people will come in to your life, so will the right opportunities. Raise your vibrations and bring nothing but positive vibes in your life.

If you want to know how you can get through the barriers you may have in your life, make an appointment with me. As a Repurpose and Life Coach, I am here to help you identify areas in your life holding you back, and guide you towards making decisions that can help propel you forward. Book a Coaching Call

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