Do you feel bad when people say NO to you? Have you wondered why this is? In the field of mental health care, rejection most frequently refers to the feelings of shame, sadness, or grief people feel when they are not accepted by others. … Because most humans desire social contact, and many people crave acceptance from society, being rejected can incite negative feelings and emotions.
The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain.
Could this all start from when we were children? Some researchers are looking at this theory.
Some people think they are not good enough, they are not smart enough, they are dumb, they do not have any good ideas. All these rejections stick in the subconscious part of the brain, and is what could potentially limit us or stop us from achieving our full potential.
So a year ago or so, my coach was working with me to see where I was ‘stuck’ with my growth. It turns out, I felt I was not good enough, and was not confident in myself to think I had an interesting story for people to listen to. It did stem from childhood, but I dont’ think it was one imposed on me, it was an idea I imposed upon myself, by trying to compare myself to others. This did not help.
Now some can say, but you still went on to have a successful career and enjoyed doing what you chose to do, but it was a little awkward at first being a natural intravert. This was because I had been masking it deep within. But my coach actually got me to face my reality and this has helped considerably in freeing up my limitations. I still have a way to go, but am getting there.
Old programming within is hard to update if you don’t know what you are looking for, and the brain in a way is like that. We have so much within us, so much baggage, pain and frustrating events that have happened over the years, that any rejection we get now, just seems to add to the rest of the pile.
What Can You Do To FACE Rejection?
Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. If this is you, this says self confidence is an issue. So, go and develop your attitude and confidence. Acting lessons helped me from being shy and inward to being self assured and a DIVA with attitude. When you ‘pretend’ to be someone else, you eventually take on the persona 🙂
Take some time to process it instead of forcing a smile on your face. Why take the rejection personally, look at what the good points are, there is always a good in there somewhere.
Focus on what you still have in your life. Practice gratitude, when you do this, you realise how much you have and how grateful you should be.
Don’t think it’s all about you. Half the time it is not even personal. Flex up with your attitude. So just say to yourself ‘NEXT’ and move on 🙂
Act Like a 5 Year Old
So, it happened that one day I had my grandchildren over to stay and I learned this from the experience. Its on available on Spotify or you can click on the link below.
Would love to see your opinions and comments and and of course what you drew from this yourself.